THE BAD

LW	TW	WI	Member	Rating	Reason
1	1	2	Mrs Maltby	***	Complained about service in front of manager... Silly bitch!
2	2	2	Judy Ossey	**	Questioned Nic's wine tasting palate, by suggesting Corbans Shiraz/cab tastes like shit.
3	3	2	Mr Rainie	*****	Makes even Oscar the grouch look like a happy chappy! Never shouts, grumpy fuckwit
4	4	2	Mr Bennett	***	Curt and Rude, and really cheap... Kingston Shiraz indeed!
5	5	2	Mrs Berg	****	Made the mistake of bitching about getting jugs of water delivered to the Associates sitting room. Got a warm glass of shut the hell up in return. Annoys the kitchen staff to no end.

RATINGS
*****	Super Nasty Bitch/Bastard (steer clear at all costs)
****	Major nuisance/tumor-inducing whingers (fuck & off, are the two words that come to mind)
***	Painful, Need to go to manners school (annoying... definitely a bags not hands on heads)
**	Barely bearable, not a pleasure to serve (not worthy of a conversation)
*	Pesky Pest, make a fuss cos they can (usually not too bad, but maybe having a bad day)

THE GOOD

LW	TW	WI	Member	Rating	Reason
1	1	2	Mr Hunt	*****	Perfect Gentleman... drinks good wine ($50/bottle plus). Had a good week (bought us out of Charles sturt Chard and Rosemount Shiraz).
2	2	2	Mr Caisley	****	Doesn't believe in table service... I agree hehehe.
3	3	2	Don Duffers Group	****	Thank the staff profusely (bar Mr Boase), and never have more than 2 drinks before pissing off
4	4	2	Dr Agnew	*****	Aussie, down to earth, happy to chat to the bar staff, gave me the thumbs up when i tore Mrs Berg to shreds... he's one cool Doc hehe
5	5	2	Mr Quinlan	***	Surprise Entry... Had a great chat with him about wines and stuff... Time will tell us how long he can hold this spot.

RATINGS
*****	Super Nice Gent/Lady. Always a pleasure to serve (pity we can't take tips hehehe...)
****	Genuine and friendly. Go out of their way to say hello and converse (Table service could be obsolete with more of these people)
***	Pleasant & easy to serve. They will apologise if they fuck up your order (damn lemon, lime vodka... i mean vodka, lime soda)
**	nice (worthy of a conversation)
*	not bad (may not say thankyou, but that's better than an abusive tirade)

THE SEXUAL DEVIATES

LW	TW	WI	Member	Nickname	Rating	Reason
1	1	2	Gary Stone	Stoney	*****	He of the roving eye... He perves so much he's sent himself permanently cross-eyed... Watch out girls he's looking at you!
2	2	2	Chris Lemon	Kumquat	****	Things will never be the same after Sara caught him in the shower. He's doing his best to turn out like his old man. An ugly, fat, drunk who thinks his walrus body is made for lovin'.
3	3	2	Geoff Sexton	-	****	Scratches his nuts and wears shirts that have his white chest hair overflowing out of them... Dude your 80, it aint sexy!!!
4	4	2	Barry Lloyd	-	*****	Sleazy, fat bastard. Could easily make the assholes list every week, but he's a deviate as well. Reckon's hes Captain material too - head up bum syndrome!
5	5	2	Mr Botha	-	***	I think this guy only comes to the golf club to get served by "the birds"... Why play golf when you can perv eh???

RATINGS
*****	Sick & Twisted!!!! (would sleep with a family member if they could)
****	Definitely sick, and might be twisted (need to get over themselves real quick, and stop perving)
***	Dirty old man... (enuff said!)
**	Pervert (Its a golf club not the beach... and as if a 20 year olds gonna go anywhere near you)
*	Ogler (Probably time to concentrate more on the golf swing, especially if you wanna get a ball)

THE DRUNKS

LW	TW	WI	Member	Nickname	Fav. Beverage	Reason
1	1	2	Terry Heilman	Terror	Reschs Schooner	NEVER been sober!!! If u see this guy driving a cab watchout! (He's got this spot cemented)
2	2	2	Ian Lemon	Circumference	Dalwhinnie Scotch	His backing up efforts are the stuff of legends. Turns up for golf at 10am sharp after getting shitfaced at his daughters 21st. Who of us will ever forget the 16 Dalwhinnie nips.. OUCH!
3	3	2	Barry Lloyd	-	Anything	He drinks a bottle of Red to himself at the Committee dinners, then comes back for a cleansing ale or 2 after that. Pisshead!
4	4	2	Mr Howell	-	Cascade middys	Drinks like a fish! The only one in the list who actually holds the liquour well. Polishes off a bottle and a half of white wine at committee dinners, and still retains perfect manners.
5	5	2	Gerry Carr-Boyd	Carr-Boyd box	Bruiser	Been stepping up of late... Used to drink middy's now he likes a schooner. Taken to using "Shit Yeah!" as a catch phrase. Still doesn't get my name right hehehe

THE REFORMED

LW	TW	WI	Member	Nickname	Rating	Reason
2	1	2	Chris Meller	-	Harmless	Dude what's happened? Super nice suits ya, glad you liked the Fiddler's Creek chardonnay.
1	2	2	Tom Kerslake	Tommy	Harmless	Used to be a grumpy idiot, before he cut back his alcohol intake and switched to soda water. Now hes a gent... well done :)
3	3	2	Mr Grant	Gregor	Harmless	The man who once called me a stupid fuckwit, after he tried to order an 8 ounce glass of who-knows-what, has been nothing but a silent well behaved chap since his apology.
4	4	2	Dr Barker	-	Shifty - beware	Rubbed Nic up the wrong way one arvo, and has been considered bad news ever since. Personally i thought he was a bit smug after his hole in one last year. Seems ok now, wonder if he'll dare to go back hehehe.
5	5	2	Alfred Willings	Alf	Volatile	I've heard reports he's been handing out pleases, thankyous and smiles. I'm dubious about that cos he's usually the biggest frowner/downer. I can't see him lasting more than a week or two as one of the reformed...